The Light Had Vanished Leaving Me Cold and Dark
by abigaildenise26
Summary: Tate wallows in self-pity about his loss. He decides he can't go on like this, not without Violet.
1. I Miss Her

**Okay so this is my first shot at writing. I really love this couple and of course I feel as if their story was a bit unfinished. Tell me what you think and I may continue. This is just a little preview of this story if I wish to continue it.**

**Chapter 1: I miss her**

Tate's POV

Five years had gone by and it felt like a lifetime. Being without violet did that to me. I don't go a day without thinking about her. She avoids me at

all costs. I try to catch her eye in hopes that she'll remember everything. She won't even be within twenty feet of me. You'd think that it's

difficult to do in this house every single day, but she manages. I love her. I need her. She's everything. Since she told me goodbye I can't find

meaning. I want to do bad things again. I want to slip into my old ways, but I know I can't. Not since I met her. She made me a better person. I

hold on to the thought that she may let me back into her life someday. I know that's not true, though. It hurts. I hate this. I just lie in the

basement and scream her name. It's so cold and dark there. It's a parallel to this life I'm condemned to now. I deserve that I guess. I want to

take everything back.

I leave her a rose outside of her room every day. I paint them black. I don't know what she does with them. I never leave

anything but the single rose. That alone gets my point across. I know she doesn't need words, nor does she want any. I wish I could tell her in

some way to make her understand. All those things I did were never meant to hurt her or her family. That was a different time. I only knew

darkness. I had been dead for a very long time. I had nothing to lose. Doing terrible things was the only way I could feel something. When she

came into my life it was the first time I felt alive again. Really alive. It was better than being alive. Being with violet was everything. I never

wanted to do bad things ever again. All I wanted was to be good for her if nothing else. Now it's all shattered. I feel even more dead than ever.

I've got to do something. I can't take this any longer. If I could kill myself I would. Actually, I wouldn't because I could never see her again. My

angel. I'm going to fix this.

I manage to pull myself off this cold dark floor and walk out into the garden and get one of the roses from the garden

Moira keeps up. I tear it off the bush. You would thing that Moira would be furious with me. She knows it wouldn't do any good. I'm broken. I

don't speak to anyone, none of the other ghosts. If I'm not with Violet I'm completely alone. I might as well embrace it. Normally I would go down

into the basement to continue this sad ritual of painting the living rose black and kill it. Then I stop at the basement door. Maybe Violet doesn't

want this darkness anymore. She didn't like normal things before, but that was before she had this horrific life that I inflicted upon her and her

family. I walk turn around and go directly up the creaking stairs just like I do every other night. I bend down to place the rose directly in front of

her bedroom, my former bedroom.

So much of our time was spent there. I long for it. Right as the bright red rose hits the cold floor the door

swings open. "Tate, you've got to stop this." I freeze. She's so beautiful. This is the first time I've heard her speak in so long. I've forgotten how

to breathe. It's a good thing it doesn't matter anymore. She eyes the rose with a puzzled look. She looks at me for an explanation. I guess she

saw on my face that I wasn't going to offer one, partially because I couldn't think straight. "What the hell?" Her tone was harsh.


	2. Light

_I'm so sorry that it took so long! I honestly didn't expect to continue this story, or get any feedback really. Thank you all so much. This isn't the last chapter, hopefully it's just the beginning. Ill try to find time for this because I really enjoy writing it. Well I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think._

I forced my mind to snap back to reality. Violet has little patience and my window was closing. "Vi-." I couldn't even get my sentence out before she was closing the door. "No, I can't do this. I've told you before-." I interrupted her sentence with my foot colliding with the door. I pushed my way into the room, carefully grasping her shoulders and moving her out of my path, and shut the door.

Once I was in her bedroom I didn't really know what to do. I'm not usually unsure of myself, but violet did that to me. I didn't expect to get this far. I surprised myself by forcing my way in here. I've tried not to overstep my boundaries with her. I didn't want to cause her pain anymore. I need her, though. I know she's sad here, as much as she tries to fake it around her family, I know she is. I feel it. I have that connection with her and I know she feels it to.

So I turned around to face my angel knowing that I could make her happy again. I could fix this. I was unprepared for the look of fear in her eyes. I moved as fast as I could to protect her. She was in my arms before I realized that I was protecting her from her fear of myself. She started to whimper when I soothed her back. "No no no Vi, I'm here now." I shushed her and continued to trace patterns over her small frame. If forgotten what it was like to hold her. This was the only place I felt purpose. She pushed against my chest with all the strength she had. She looked at me with eyes filled with agony and tears. "No, Tate. No! I won't do this again. I can't-" her voice cracked and despite her efforts the tears spilled.

I walked over to her once more and gently took her beautiful face in my scared hands. That was the difference between us. She was perfect and pure while I was matted and scorned. "Listen to me Violet please." At this point my eyes started to tear up. I couldn't bare to see her this way. I moved my finger under her delicate chin and lifted it up so her warm brown eyes could meet my cold black ones. She didn't, though, her eyes glazed over so she didn't have to look at me.

"I know I don't deserve you. I never deserved you. You're too good for me. I want the best for you. It may not seem that way, but I do. I was wrong before. I was so incredibly wrong. What I did to your mother...I can't expect anyone to ever forgive me for that. It was the worst thing I could have done. I wish I could say that it wasn't me and it be true. It kind of is true, though. It was a different part of me. It was the dark cruel part of me. The part that I had before I got close to you. Before I let myself love you. You made it go away. The light you brought into my life pushed it away. Of course at that point I couldn't change what I did. I was trying to please Nora. She's the only sort of real mother I've had in my life. It was wrong. It was so wrong. I hurt your family. I caused this horrible fate upon them. Most importantly I hurt you."

She finally focused her attention on me. Her brow was creased and she didn't say anything. I took my chance and went on. "I love you, Vi. I love you so much. I love you more than I've ever loved anything. I know that doesn't mean much coming from a person like me. But, everyone thought I was incapable of love because of what I've been though. You proved them wrong. You proved me wrong. You pushing me out of your life would have killed me if I wasn't already dead. I have no purpose. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel the darkness coming back for me. I'm scared. I was never scared before. Now that I've known the brightest light there is I don't want anything else. Please, Violet. I need you. You're all I need."

She let herself fall into my arms. She started to sob. "No, Violet you're so strong. Tell me how to stop doing this to you. I see you cry up here. I always do, but I know you don't want me to help, and-" a muffled voice coming from my shirt stopped me. "Tate, I've missed you so much." She had shocked me once again. I mistook her silence for her ignoring me. I've never been so relived to be so wrong in my life. I don't deserve this girl, but I need every last bit of her. I folded my arms around her and it was like piecing my heart back together. I kissed her the top of her head and started to cry with her. I felt whole again.


	3. Growing Back Together

I'm so so so sorry! I'm turning into those authors that I hate on fanfiction. To be fair, I have been quite busy. I tried to make this one longer, because my stories are quite short. Ill try to be better for you! I promise. Please leave your feedback! I absolutely adore hearing from you. I hope you enjoy!

*Violet's viewpoint*

He held up a long slender finger. "Wait." He exited the room and just like

that I seemed to snap back into reality..he was gone. He was always gone.

He could never come back. That was Tate and he was never going to

change. God, why couldn't I be happy? I have to stay in the hellhole for

the rest of my life and I can't even be fucking happy. The door squeaked

and he entered with the red rose I'd already forgotten about. It looked so

life like in this house. So surrounded by horror and death...Tate grabbed

my hand and set the rose gently in my palm. "I know there was a point

when you didn't like normal things. All you wanted was to be different. You

hated everyone else. That's what I loved about you, Violet. That was a

long time ago..I know everything is different now...because of me. I

created this hell that you can't escape from. Now I know that you wish,

more than anything, just to be normal. Ill do whatever it takes, Vi. I'll give

you the normal life you want. We can make it work. I know we can-" he

was starting to get emotional now. He was groveling. I couldn't stand

seeing him that way. I cut him off with a kiss. I flung myself into his arms.

How I had missed this boy. The one who could make everything so bad,

but yet the only one who could make things so good. I loved him. No

matter what. I was done staying away. I was ready to be happy. He sighed

and held me once again. I felt so safe in his arms. It felt like nothing bad

could ever happen. Of course that's far from true. He kissed my forehead

and soothed my back. He always knew what to do. How had I managed to

stay away from him? To push him away like that...then something hit

me...my parents...what would they say? What would they do? Oh god.

That's why. No one would understand this pull he had on me. "Tate.." I

mumbled into his chest because I was scared to face him. He pulled away

just enough to see my face. He still had a firm grip on me. Gentle, but

very protective. As if he was scared to let go. "It's so good to hear you say

my name..." He said with that devilishly handsome grin creeping onto his

face. I tried to ignore him so I could go through with shattering this

happiness. "Tate, my parents..." He creased his brow. I could tell that he

hadn't thought about anything but me. The thought of my parents never

even crossed his mind. Nothing else mattered to him. He took a deep

breath before he spoke. "I forgot you had other people in this house...I

mean I knew of course, but..I just don't think of it often. I shouldn't take

this happiness from you, Violet. You deserve so much more than me.

Remember when I tried to get that idiot Gabe to stay for you? Where's

that Tate? I should have killed him. He was an idiot, but he was good for

you. Better than ill ever be. I'm so selfish. I just keep thinking of myself. I

shouldn't have done this. No matter how much it kills me-" I had to

interrupt him. He had no idea what he was saying. "Stop. Tate..I love you.

Okay? You. Not Gabe. He was a whimp. I hated him. Yes, I'm worried

about my family. I know what they'll say. I never wanted to speak to you

again, but things change. We can get through this. We have to. I'm going

to be happy. The only way I can be happy is if I'm with you. We can worry

about them tomorrow. Or next week. Or next year. Time doesn't matter in

this house. It's one on going horror story. Except when you're around. So

just be with me tonight. Forget how you don't think you're good enough

for me. I'm not as perfect as you think I am. Maybe I'm not as crazy as

you are..." That got him to smile. "But, I'm my own form of pshyco." I let

go of him and I saw the panic already grow into his eyes before I had time

to grab his hand. I placed the rose in the vase next to my bed with all the

black ones he left me this week. I would have kept them all, but of course

the die. I led him to my bed and I sat down with my feet dangling off the

bed. "You kept them?" he said starring at the roses. "Of course I did. Just

because I acted like you didn't cross my mind doesn't mean it's true. You

were there every second." I pulled him gently between my legs by tugging

on his belt loops. His eyes grew wide and it looked as if his knees might

buckle. I pulled his face down to mine and kissed him enough to make up

for five years of distance between us. I could tell he was trying to do the

same when he joined me on the bed and was hovering over me, kissing

my neck. I was tugging on his shirt trying to get rid of all the space

between us. He stopped. "Vi..are you sure you're ready for this?" I looked

at him puzzled. "Tate, we've had sex before. Multiple times. You know I'm

ready for this." I growled as I tried to tug his shirt off again. He grabbed

my wrists to bring me to a halt. "No, I mean emotionally. I put you

through so much." I laid back on the bed in exhaustion. I didn't want to

explain things. I just wanted Tate. "I'm sure." I said to the ceiling. "I just

want to be with you. Every part of you. I've ached for you. It's physically

painful." I looked up at him in fear as a thought came into my mind. "You

want this too...don't you?" He looked taken aback. "Of course I do. Oh,

my angel, of course. I want every last bit of you. God, I hunger for you. I

fucking want you so bad. I need you. I just can't lose you again. I want to

do whatever you need. Be whoever you need. If that caused a little more

sexual frustration for me than so be it. You're even more desirable when

you're insecure. You don't understand the hold you have on me." He

looked at me with so much love that I knew for a fact that he had

changed. I also knew that I was ready. "Tate, I need you. Give me what I

need." I said as I pulled him down on me. Those were the last words that

were exchanged that night. Aside from the murmured "I love yous" we

said when we came up for air. Making up for five years time didn't leave

much room for conversation. Just love.


End file.
